Rewrite Your Story – A Two Step Process
STEP ONE – BE THE UNICORN
We all have a story. There’s a lot that goes into your story: the family you were born into, the schools you attended, what you eat, where you live, your relationships, your work, how you play and so much more. We all have millions of experiences; it’s the meaning that we give to these experiences that write our story.
How we interpret our experiences can either empower us or send us in a downward spiral. Remember when you were a teenager and you walked past a group of other kids who, as you passed, became silent and then broke out in giggles.
Some minds automatically went to “they’re making fun of me” while others, with a more optimistic personality, would a) be oblivious to the situation or b) think “someone must have said something funny”.
But how do you change the stories and beliefs you’ve been telling yourself since you were a child? How do you become optimistic when you simply aren’t the cheerleader type?
Optimism is a choice. But it takes work too; it’s not just envisioning rainbows and unicorns or repeating positive affirmations. Here are some steps to become the person you want to be:
◊ Focus on your strengths. What are you good at? How can these help you with work, life and love?
◊ What do you want? Though you may be surrounded with what you don’t want – focus on what you DO want.
◊ Acknowledge your wins too. Everyone experiences good and bad things in life. Let both define you – not just the bad ones.
◊ Even if you’re not quite there, be the positive one. The more you practice optimism, the better you’ll get at it. Be the unicorn. Fake it til you make it or be it until you become it.
◊ List 3 good things that happened today. Include these in your daily journal. Celebrate your wins, every day.
◊ Choose your company wisely. Who you spend your time with rubs off on you. Make sure the majority of time is spent with those that lift you up and be sure to do the same for them too. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with!
STEP TWO – WHO’S AT THE DINNER TABLE?
Did you know that in patients with classic multiple personality disorder, each personality can present with a completely different physiology? One woman was a clinically diagnosed insulin-dependent diabetic in one personality, but not in another.
Another patient had such a severe allergy to citrus fruits that she would break out in hives, but could eat a dozen oranges with no side effects while in a different personality. What these patients teach us is that our Identity and our metabolism are intricately linked.
We don’t have to be suffering from multiple personality disorder to have these experiences. Susan loves angel food cake but has a hypoglycemic response immediately after eating it due to its high sugar content.
Yet when she visits her grandmother and cake is served (and it always has been, ever since she was a little girl), Susan eats it with no problem and no reaction. Could Susan’s “granddaughter’s personality” have a better time regulating sugar?
Jen had a family history of diabetes and struggled with poor digestion and losing weight. She was motivated to make some serious changes and would last for days eating healthy and even feeling better with her digestion. But then she would cave in to cookies, ice cream and chips. Her digestive issues would return and her mood would be sour due to her “lack of willpower”.
When asked “who’s eating?”, a light switch turned on for her. She realized the rebel in her was breaking the rules and sabotaging her hard work. In all areas of her life, the rebel shows up and takes over when someone tries to give her rules or boss her around.
The key to her sustainable success with food was learning to listen to her inner rebel and give it what it wanted once or twice a week. She learned not to judge or try to change this part of her and let her rebel break a rule on occasion, allowing Jen and her inner rebel to be happy. Her digestion soon cleared up and her weight slowly dropped over the next several months.
We’re each a collection of personalities and archetypes depending on who we’re with, how we’re feeling and the environment we find ourselves in. We can be a child to our parents, a sister to a sibling, a best friend to a pet. Think about the many personalities you have – around different friends and family members, at work and on vacation. Do these different personalities differ in their choice of foods? Does your digestion change depending on your persona?
Think about who’s sitting at the head of the table when you’re eating. Is it the rebellious child? Is it the teenager who wants what others want? Is it your party person? Your dieter? Or is it your adult, your nourisher?
Honor who’s sitting there and ask yourself, “Is this serving me? If the answer is no, invite a different person to the head of the table, perhaps the queen or king who is at peace with their life, their body, and their perfectionism.
A monarch owns their power and doesn’t sit on their throne obsessing about their body to their subjects. They are giving, wise and nourishes and empowers others because they respect themselves.